Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
