I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
