Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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