You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
