she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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