If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
