i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
