guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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