you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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