i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
