fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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