I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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