..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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