yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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