You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
