you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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