He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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