I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
