hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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