all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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