under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
