So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize