I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
