I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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