i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
3pm strippers are depressing
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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