So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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