i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
