I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
