I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
When are your genitals available?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
