who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
