I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
