I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My ass is underappreciated
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
