I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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