Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
