My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
farters have to be the big spoon...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
