You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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