mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
