I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
