***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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