I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
