Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
