actually, I'm a sock model
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
