I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
