She's JV to your varsity
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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