Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you inspire me to be a worse person
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
