First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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