I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
