I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
FUCK WHALES
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
