I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
