I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
