i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
