Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
