Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
