he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We just shotgunned beers for America
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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