no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
