when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
