All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
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Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
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Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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