I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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